With the Bruce Willis & Jason Statham collection now available on NOW TV, it’s got me thinking…with all the action or emotion their movies encompass, you can’t really picture Hollywood’s hard men undertaking everyday duties. But the duo can’t always be shooting bad guys and slowly walking away from explosions.
So by using their movies, I’ve put the two in a 6 round battle, with each round representing the common odd jobs and hobbies to see who comes out on top. Let’s get it on! *ding ding*
Round 1: Gardening
In Pulp Fiction, Bruce Willis is pretty handy with sharp objects when he needs to be – and in this same particular scene, treading lightly is another important attribute to obtain, very similar to those in the gardening world. It seems like he’d make good use of our botanical time.
Round to: Bruce Willis
Round 2: Keeping Fit
Judging by Crank, Jason Statham is one to keep a high heart rate, even if it is to stay alive. Out of the two, we think he’d be a better training partner. So long as ‘jumping from a 10 storey window onto the roof of a moving vehicle’ isn’t part of his training regime.
Round to: Jason Statham
Round 3: Babysitting
In Look Who’s Talking, we see Willis voice the mind of an infant. After a while, you begin to think this is how the baby would actually talk if they could….oh, just me? Then there’s The Kid. I mean, Willis’ 8 year old self magically reappears as a separate being, thus rediscovering his youth and the audience’s connection to one’s own childhoods. Look enough talk Willis, you’re obviously the Dr. Dolittle of children…when can you start?
Round to: Bruce Willis
Round 4: Errands
Whether going to the post office, food shopping or taking the dog for a walk, Jason Statham is your man. The Transporter aka Frank Martin will do what you ask, no questions asked. Just follow 3 simple rules: Don’t change the plans, say no names and never EVER look in the package. I guess it’s too late to ask him to pick up Thai food instead.
Round to: Jason Statham
Round 5: Cleaning
Cleaning up is what both guys do best. I mean this in the metaphorical sense of course, but anyone good at getting rid of the bad guys can surely remove these stubborn grass stains in my trousers. Willis: always picking up where he left off in the Die Hard series or putting on his private eye badge as the wisecracking Joe in The Last Boy Scout, but Jason Statham definitely does a better job at “taking out the trash”…that’s right, I said it. Whether for or against the law, he will not rest until he gets the job done, and in The One, Statham plays an agent hot on the pursue of escaped prisoner and former partner Jet Li, meanwhile Ghost of Mars sees him on the hunt of the planet’s most notorious crook in Ice Cube. So you see, his obligations to cleaning even take him to outer space!
Round to: Jason Statham
Round 6: Advice
In The Sixth Sense, Willis’ character Malcolm Crowe is a child psychologist….they don’t just hand those careers out you know! Ok, so the majority reading this aren’t of childlike age to seek his professional help, but technically aren’t we all somebody’s child? I know who I’ll call when I need a friend.
Round to: Bruce Willis
It was close battle, too close in fact…and I call it as a draw! Or maybe I’m it wrong…maybe one of the rounds should have gone to the other man?
What else would either man be good at?
