Ahhh the transfer window. That team of year when football fans all over the country live in a constant state of anticipation and dread. For some clubs, this transfer window marks an opportunity for much-needed improvement. For others, the next two months are about as welcome as the sight of Adrian Chiles in Speedos.
If you’re anything like me (and I really hope you’re not, for your sakes), the next few months will see constant checks of computers and smart phones for the latest news affecting their club. And I absolutely love the transfer window.
So, with the new Premier League season just six months away, let’s take a look at what each of the so-called ‘big teams’ need. And yes, Manchester United are included.
Arsenal
To be honest, I’m never totally sure what Arsenal need. They seem to constantly lurch between needing a whole new squad or just an extra player or two. This summer seems a little different, as their strengths and weaknesses become more apparent.
With Bacary Sagna no longer a Gunner, a top quality right-back is required, unless Carl Jenkinson shocks the football world and improves tenfold. In addition, it’s no secret that Olivier Giroud – devilishly handsome as he is – is not of the required standard to carry a title challenge on his own. A world class striker may make all the difference, as might an ‘anchorman’ in front of a back four which is often as exposed as Miley Cyrus. That said, expect Arsenal to buy ANOTHER creative midfielder. You know, ‘coz they only have around twelve.
Chelsea
Let’s face it, whatever Chelsea need, they will get. Chelsea will also probably get what they don’t need, especially if it annoys Tottenham. With David Luiz off to PSG and John Terry a year older, at least one more centre-back will be needed, although Kurt Zouma – secured in January – is an excellent defender.
Further up the field, Chelsea’s midfield looks stronger than Luis Suarez’s jawbone. Therefore, focus is on a strikeforce which last season was feebler than an anaesthetised kitten. With Diego Costa coming for around £30 million, some of the pressure should be eased but, if this World Cup is anything to go by, it looks like Chelsea have spent the GDP of a small country on a man who resembles Kevin Davies after a good season and a terrible night’s sleep.
Liverpool
This depends. If Suarez goes, Liverpool need a miracle to challenge again for title. If Suarez stays, they just need some defenders.
However, the Uruguayan is looking like a possible departure to Spain after his latest on field misdemeanour. With the greatest respect to Rickie Lambert, the Reds will need to replace Suarez if the hungry striker jets off.
What else? Well, Simon Mignolet didn’t have a great debut season after (to the frustration of Fantasy Football managers everywhere) developing an allergy to clean sheets. This wasn’t helped by a Glen Johnson who often forgot his own position. This World Cup proves that, good as he is, Johnson can’t be considered a nailed-on starter for a top class team.
Manchester City
The champions look set to dominate English football, don’t they? Maybe, but they still have issues to sort out. The addition of Fernando has helped bring some bite (sorry for the latest Suarez pun) to their midfield, but other areas require attention. Oddly, the signing of Sagna from Arsenal seems like a pointless one, with Pablo Zabaleta not just bedding down the right-back position, but buying it out, re-decorating it and raising a family there.
With Matija Nastasic due to return from injury and back to full fitness, a worrying over-reliance on the hilarious Martin Demichelis can cease. Gael Clichy remains as defensively disciplined as Pepe on a stag-do and unless he gets his body weight in cake, Yaya Toure may still leave the club. City could be on the verge of building a formidable dynasty, but could just as easily slide into obscuirty without a couple more signings.
Manchester United
After last season, it seems strange to class United as potential challengers, but they are now managed by Louis van Gaal, not David Moyes. Put simply, Moyes made Robin van Persie looks average, Van Gaal makes his fly.
Ander Herrera and Luke Shaw have already arrived, so two major problem areas have been covered. Herrera must excite United fans, as they now have a midfielder who can pass the ball FORWARDS. Imagine that! But more is needed. Arturo Vidal looks like the latest man to flutter his eyelashes at United, before inevitably turning them down and leaving Ed Woodward in tears.
For them, at least one centre-back is needed, as well as another centre midfielder and maybe a winger. United are going to need to spend at least £100 million in order to compete at the sharp end again, and the team still looks incredibly blunt. With Van Gaal in charge, more signings will come, but will the best players come without Champions League. From now until the end of August, we will all be checking to find out.
