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Chuck Norris' 20 funniest facts

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Chuck Norris turned 77 on March 10. Or maybe 77 turned Chuck Norris.

The American is an actor, producer, screenwriter, martial artist and even served in the United States Air Force. However, he has become more known for an Internet craze called ‘Chuck Norris facts’, which offers outlandish facts/jokes touching upon Norris’ masculinity and heroism.

 

 

 

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The more absurd the joke, the funnier it is. For the last 10-12 years, gags such as ‘Chuck Norris can divide by zero’ have done the rounds and caused belly laughter like no other. To commemorate the great man’s birthday, we compiled the 20 best ‘Chuck Norris facts’

 

 

  • When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

 

  • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

  • Supermarkets tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper but it didn’t take off. Chuck Norris takes sh*t off nobody.

 

  • Chuck Norris’ calendar goes from 31 March to 2 April. Nobody fools Chuck Norris.

 

  • When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

 

  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.

 

  • Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

 

  • Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain… The cobra died.

 

  • Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.

 

  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

 

  • The boogie man looks underneath his bed for Chuck Norris.

 

  • When Chuck Norris left the house, he looked at his father and said ‘you’re the man of the house now’.

 

  • Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

 

  • Chuck Norris can beat you in a game on connect 4 in three moves. 

 

  • Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game with a marble.

 

  • Chuck Norris’ blood type is AK-47.

 

  • Chuck Norris is the real reason Wally is hiding.

 

  • Chuck Norris went to Mars, that’s why there’s no signs of life.

 

  • Death once had a near-Chuck experience.

 

  • Ghosts sit around a campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

 

Happy birthday Chuck Norris, here’s to the next 77 years!

 

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Rich-L
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  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live
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