"Danny Welbeck had been here since he was nine, but after he came back from Sunderland, he does not have the record of Rooney or Van Persie, and that is the standard."
So said Louis van Gaal in explanation of Manchester United’s sanctioning the sale of their England striker to Premier League rivals Arsenal. The deal that saw the departure of the native Mancunian to North London was made on September 1st and added a dramatic twist to transfer deadline day.
It has also added extra spice to the forthcoming clash between the two clubs who meet on Saturday at the Emirates, in a game neither team can afford to lose. With ex-Arsenal captain Robin van Persie coming back to his old stomping ground, we thought I’d look at the comparative qualities of the two players who will both be aiming to come back to haunt their former employers.
NICKNAME:
RVP: The moniker ‘Van the Man’ is a gift to sub-editors around the world while at the same time quantifying the fact that the Dutch striker needs maintenance, has an engine and is indeed a man. Meanwhile, the acronym RVP is conveniently similar to MVP (Most Valuable Player) emphasising his position as the number one asset in the team (in his own mind at least) – although Rooney and Di Maria may beg to differ. 8/10
DW: Dat Guy Welbz has to be the most linguistically pleasing nickname in world football such is its roll-ability off the tongue. It was former United youth team starlet Ravel Morrison who first used the term ‘Dat Guy’ to describe Welbeck and it has stuck like glue ever since. He has also been christened ‘Wele’ by some media-savvy Gunners fans that have decided to liken the rangy forward to the great Pele himself. While this is done in a kind of semi-serious tongue-in-cheek way, there is an underlying hope the label becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 9/10
TRADEMARK GOAL:
RVP: It wouldn’t surprise me if van Persie had a pair side mirrors attached to his shoulders out on the field of play, such is his success at the ‘over the shoulder left volley’. A combination of bewitching movement, an almost telepathic understanding with his midfield supplier, perfect body shape and exquisite timing make for a memorable example of spectacular finishing. As one-time Arsenal reserve and Twitter legend Emmanuel Frimpong once rapped on the seminal Lethal Bizzle track ‘Leave it Yeah’: “Pass the ball to van Persie... Goal, Lord have mercy.” 10/10
DW: When it comes off, ‘the dink’ is the goal most favoured by goal-scorers. An elegant nonchalance combined with ice-in-the-blood calmness in front of an advancing keeper and a delicate mastery over the football are all prerequisites to ‘the dink’. Welbeck may have famously messed it up when he tried to ‘dink’ Manuel Neuer in the United Bayern Champions League first-leg last year but his third goal for Arsenal against Galatasaray in the this year’s competition showed signs of a maturing Master at work. 7/10
CELEBRATION:
RVP: It is usual for prolific strikers such as van Persie to have a ‘go to’ celebration after scoring a goal. Some players actually sit down with their ‘advisors’ and pull together a piece of choreography that has both an aesthetic and marketable value. Since going to United, it seems RVP has become as unpredictable in his celebrations as the weekly line-up in the Red Devils’ defence. Although doing the ‘slide on the knees’ one week or the ‘primal scream’ the next, may display a lack of uniformity and composure, it does show a passion for scoring that is overwhelming. 7/10
DW: Being a younger of the two players by several years Welbeck, has grown up watching the likes of van Persie, Rooney and Ronaldo celebrate their goals at close quarters. Maybe he’s a closet Chelsea fan because he has chosen to ignore his former colleagues and based his celebration on the coordinated ‘hand pump’ first seen performed by Didier Drogba. Welbz has made the move his own by transforming it into a more staccato ‘flightless-bird-trying-to-fly’ interpretation. This is obviously a work-in-progress but don’t be surprised if the old ‘finger to the lips’ shush is revisited if ‘Dat Guy’ scores on Saturday. 6/10
CONCLUSION:
RVP – 25/30
DW – 22/30
While LVG is correct in his assertion that Welbeck is not on van Persie’s level in regards scoring goals, the ‘Gods of Football’ are mischievous. I predict ‘Dat Guy’ Welbz will outgun RVP in a five goal thriller that Arsenal will win by the odd goal.
Make sure you catch all the action on Saturday from 4.45pm with a NOW TV Sky Sports Pass…po.st/ARSvMAN
